Discovering the New Meaning of Rest on Ischia
How the island helped me realign and taught me a new form of self-appreciation.
“I am so happy for you - it looks so beautiful. I love Ischia”, I got my friend’s text.
My stomach shrunk, every part of me wanted to feel the same and see what she saw.
My husband and I had traveled about 5 hours from Arezzo to enjoy our 12-year anniversary for the weekend at this beautiful island, I’ve been dying to visit since I read “My Brilliant Friend”.
We’d been moving around Italy for the year on a trial basis to relocate and I was exhausted. Some naive part of me hoped I’d get off the boat and my worries and exhaustion would immediately melt away - that’s definitely not what happened.
I found every part of me trying, I would have a moment of disconnect and quickly reprimand myself, like a rubber band on the wrist, which just left me feeling worse when I couldn’t.
With the hindering feeling of obligation to sightsee, I pushed past the red flags of my burnout and my disconnect grew into anger, self-shame, and pfffffff was I getting grumpy.
The more I ignored myself the more I looked for every excuse not to like this paradise, I wanted my outer world to reflect my current inner.
Guess what Universe gave me instead? One kind person, two, three, just one after the other. I felt like a baby, upset, and I wanted the Universe to justify my feelings, to meet me where I was.
And this was all in one day! I sat outside on the room patio, looking out in silence when it came to me.
During this relocation from NYC to Tuscany, we have been going nonstop, small town to small town with our luggage and dog Joey in the backseat of the car, applying and looking for our new home in this time of low supply due the to war, Airbnb buyouts and the after-effects of the pandemic. We’d be pushing and pushing.
I got clarity and I always know when it’s from Spirit because it feels lighter, shinier, and calmer.
This can be your life, this IS life for some. Pushing and hustling so much that, at one point burnout is a constant state. We can absolutely adopt these pair of glasses to see our entire lives this way if we allowed it, if we want it.
I realized the lesson Universe was showing me was how important rest is, like really is. To have compassion towards myself but for everyone else on a truly deeper level. We never know what people are going through but also to acknowledge how easily we can slip in here and stay here if we really wanted to. Ischia to me, at that moment, represented the whole world.
This was just one day, but what about if it didn’t stop?
"Honey, you need a pause", Spirit said because I never use the word, honey.
“Honey, a real one, not just for a weekend - until you completely feel yourself again.”
“A sacred pause”, it said.
A wave of relief released through my entire body.
I went inside and slept.
Later that night, I went to dinner with my husband, the star of patience and kindness at this moment, to Il Giardino. I was still in between the feelings of earlier that day but beginning to feel rested when we went. We were met with an amazing dinner and a waiter named Nino. (IYKYK, Nino + Ischia, and being a Brilliant Friend fan it made my soul giggle). At the end of the night, we said our goodbyes when Nino, our waiter, ran after us, “Wait I have something for you.”
My husband and I were a little confused, what could he have? We both checked our pockets to see if it was our wallets.
He ran to the back and came out with a framed picture of Ischia and said, “To remember your time with us.”
My heart glowing, I thought Universe really does send you the right souls when you need them. His kindness meant more than he’d probably know, it helped remind me life is better than good but kind and unexpected.
Go slow, be patient, kind to yourself and that’s what will meet you.
In my old fashion, I had originally planned the trip to see as much as I could, with a boat trip to Capri the next day but that night I just got an idea.
“Let’s get a scooter and ride around, that’s it.” My husband’s eyes bulged, as he said, “I was thinking that same thing.”
I spent the rest of my time on the island riding in the back of a Vespa with the wind literally in my hair, visiting different beaches, and having the best food with my guy. (I’ve been in and out of Italy for 12 years, so when I say this is some of the best food, I mean it, and have added a list of my recs for you below.) We kept meeting honestly one amazing person after another.
Getting back home to Arezzo, we booked our flights back to NY where I slept and was comforted by my closest community for a month.
I’ve been wanting to write this blog for a while but it didn’t feel right until now because just now did it come full circle.
Hereafter my sacred pause, as I reemerge from what feels like such a fantastic slumber of rest, I wake with more curiosity, creativity, feeling myself, and having a deeper appreciation for self.
This time helped me realize I’m more than the place I live, my career, a healer, a baby sister, a wife and a friend, a talent, a hobby, none yet all at the same time. It was a time filled with love, quiet alone time, and giggles that eventually, right on queue, turned into inspiration.
Ischia began a new chapter for me, and it’ll always be sacred in my heart.
XO,
Illi
Favorite Places to Eat:
Gardenia Mare: At this point get used to me saying the staff is sweet everywhere. This place doubles as a beach spot for the day and I wish we went back. This is one of the best meals, with the best views and on the water while the aesthetic and vibe are so on point here. The first bite of food for both my husband and me, we just looked at each other with our eyes big - whoa! So friggin incredible - one of the best meals we’ve had in Italy in the past 12 years - hands down! You can also tell there is a lot of care in the place and what’s even nicer is that you can request a boat taxi to come take you back to the castle for a gelato. Me? Say no to a gelato - you must be kidding. Haha. (Area: Castello Aragonese D’Ischia. What I ordered: The Stuffed Fried Pasta)
Il Giardino: The place that healed my soul on a down day. Staff, food, and location will all make you feel embraced by a warm hug. Off the beaten path so take a scooter or get ready to walk up some hills either way it was so worth it.
(Area: Castello Aragonese D’Ischia. What I Ordered: Pischacchio Zucchini Flowers.)
Di Meglio Pizzeria: Hit the beach in the best beach area Fornio and then come here for lunch. Does pizza in the Naples area need a review? By far one of my favorites - might even beat out Gusta from Florence for me. Still thinking about though — I’ll let you know. (Area: Fornio. What I Order: a good ol’ Margarita)
Must Try First-Time Treats
Rum Baba Ice Cream: As my mom says still in her 60s “Yummy yummy in the tummy tummy”. If you know me you know, I’m obsessed with Rum Baby dessert but now as a gelato! You gotta try it for yourself at Ice Da Luciano.
Limoncello Spritz: I usually stick to my Hugo Spritz but since I’ve had this one I can’t go back. It’s like an adult lemonade, refreshing, and you can find it all over the island.
Where We Stayed:
Parco Cartoromana: It’s a typical Italian Albergo, it’s a great location, clean, with a pool and view (away from the port which can get a little hectic). We booked last minute when a lot of places were booked up but it ended up being a super pleasant surprise and completely budget-friendly. With 3 pools spas, a sauna, spa, tennis court, and room to spare - yes it’s very traditional Italian grandma style but it was lovely and the staff was glorious. They helped us book a Vespa that came straight to the hotel so no hassle or need for drop off while also offering to book all our boat trips to Capri (even if we didn’t go). Perfect for what we needed. This is where I tried my first Limoncello Spritz. - let’s just say *chef’s kiss*
Places I Noted for Next Time:
Giardini Poseidon: Thermal baths are famous in Ischia for over 2,500 years and this is one the oldest but chicest baths on the island. Dedicated to the God Poseidon himself, the place has great reviews and promotes rest and wellness. I didn’t make it this time in light of trying to not overwhelm our trip but definitely want to next time.
Giardini la Mortella: A private botanical garden turned public back in 1991. Famously known to be just gorgeous.
My Win + Take Away:
Riding around the Vespa was the cream of the crop and allowed us to really discover the island at our own pace. If you are planning on visiting check with your hotel if they offer easy rentals.
It’s a very local island, not like its twin sister Capri and that also means the beaches aren’t all well kept - we found the best beaches in the west in Fornio and west north of towards il Fungo. Renting chairs and getting a services beach club is probably the best way to do it.
The island is getting more popular because of the “My Brilliant Friend” series so you’ll hear the whispers of the story all over, which I thought was pretty cute.
All in all, what a gem - I will definitely go back with family and friends, whoever.
